Finding Peace and Joy: Come Back to Confession in Five Easy Steps

When I was young, I made my first confession with my first Communion class. And then I was taken with a class one time in four years of Catholic high school. And then I came back after college when I heard of a parish penance service.

I said, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been eight years since my last confession.”

I think I expected him to say, “Welcome back.” But he said, “That’s too bad.”

You could argue that he could have been more welcoming. What if a person hadn’t come in 50 years? I want that person to feel welcome to come back. I am definitely cheering on any person who comes back.

But I didn’t know back then that the Church requires confession once a year at the very, very least. And after I started teaching first communion classes, many adults responsible for those kids laughed in conversation that they also had not been to the sacrament since their first confessions right before their first communions.

Today, I want to invite you to the sacrament, telling you the same things I told the kids in my classes. Confession is not hard, even if shame or guilt or ignorance of what to do would try to keep you away. The relief you will feel afterwards absolutely outweighs whatever jitters you have before.

Here is "Coming to Confession" in five easy steps!

Step one:

Spend time in prayer, talking to the Lord and your Guardian Angel about your sins. Use the Ten Commandments as a guide. Have you lied, stolen, or been envious of things or relationships? Have you committed adultery by action or thought or taken the Lord’s name in vain? Have you skipped Mass on Sundays or killed – either by physically harming another or by using harsh words? Check out a list of the Commandments online or go to Exodus Chapter 20.

You could also look at 1 Corinthians Chapter 13 as a guide. If love is patient and kind, have you been loving? Have you boasted or brooded over injury? Have you been quick-tempered or rejoiced in wrongdoings? I think this is a harder examination. May the Lord help us to be perfect as He is perfect!

Step two:

Don’t give in to shame or guilt. The Lord is merciful. He wants to forgive you. Have courage. Ask someone to pray for you if you feel down.

Step three:

Identify where you will confess. Your parish has times in the bulletin or online. But don’t limit yourself to your parish if times in other parishes are more convenient. Maybe you need a Saturday afternoon. But maybe you’d be better off on a weekday. You might also consider making an appointment if you think it will take a little longer, or if you want the priest to give you a lot of advice.

Step four:

Make your confession. The priest will open with the Sign of the Cross. You will say, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been ___ since my last confession. (And then rejoice that you have made it back!) For these sins, I am truly sorry.” Now, give your list of sins.

When you finish, end by saying, “For these and any other sins I can’t think of right now, I am truly sorry.” This does not mean you can leave something out. Leaving something out on purpose invalidates the whole confession! What it does mean is that you can breathe a sigh of relief if you remembered something after you get back in the car. It’s all gone.

The priest may or may not give advice or a spiritual reading. He may or may not give a penance, some prayers or an assignment. I could write another post on interesting assignments I’ve been given. They are usually very helpful and insightful. But I know there are some priests who don’t give penances, especially when the line is very long.

The priest will ask you to say the Act of Contrition, which you could memorize, print out in advance or (usually) just read from a card in the confessional. Then the priest will say the prayer of absolution over you. He will say, “The Lord has forgiven you of all your sins; go in peace.” You will respond, “Thanks be to God.”

Step five:

Go outside to make your penance, and then go out for cupcakes! This is a cause for celebration! Luke 15:10 says the angels in Heaven are celebrating too!

I hope you will feel encouraged to come to confession. The Church asks you to come once a year. But you can come more often. It’s often recommended that you go once a month. The sacrament offers a blessing to know how well you are doing in your relationship with God. It offers a blessing to build a relationship with a priest for informal direction. And it offers a blessing to regularly receive sacramental grace that will make you feel a greater peace and joy.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a sign of contradiction in an age where people shrug that they “are pretty good people” and also tell others, “do not judge.” The Lord does judge our wrongs and scripture says, “Whoever says he is without sin is a liar (1 John 1:8).” But the love and acceptance you feel in the sacrament doesn’t match the heavy guilt and shame of the world. When you come, you are being brought into loving wholeness, a deeper relationship with a compassionate God.

#Confession #Reconciliation #NorineShaivitz