On Joining the Choir and Being Publicly Awkward

We always sat in the first pew on the left. Years ago, someone told us it would help little children behave, because then they could see what was happening during the Mass. Mostly, it warranted the deacon the opportunity to tell us after Mass how he watched my little one fall asleep or roll around in the pew. But we liked sitting there, nonetheless.

Then, we found the parish started putting a reserved sign on that pew. Lectors would have the opportunity to sit there if they wanted. That meant, for the three or four weeks a month I wasn’t a lector, we couldn’t sit in that pew. I decided the only solution was to move to the front on the other side of the church – the seats in the choir.

Choir was something I had prayed about for years. I don’t have a musical background, but I like to sing. Some people have told me I sing well. And I find that I feel very close to the Lord in singing. It helped that our pew was taken, and we’d have to move, but it sealed the deal that the very amiable choir director joked in a Facebook comment that I should join. I decided to be brave.

On my first day of singing, my throat was prickly (it was the beginning of a sinus infection that would last the rest of the month). It also turned out that I was the only adult present that day to sing melody. Melody is sung in the soprano range. Was I a soprano? I didn’t know yet. And then I knew that I wasn’t – at least I wasn’t at that moment! I spent the two-hour practice and one hour of Mass begging the Lord to help. I kept asking Saint Peter whether I was brave for stepping out of the boat or whether I should call from the waters, “Lord, I’m perishing!” When we got to the Mass, my alto friend positioned my chair in front of the microphone. I was sure I was going to sound like a dying frog.

A couple of days later, another friend texted and said she wasn’t close enough to the front to see that I had joined the choir, but she knew I had joined because she recognized my voice on the speaker. “You were hitting all the high notes that no one could sing!” she said.

Jesus saves, indeed!

Another time, I decided that I might try to sing at a lower range. But I quickly realized that I can’t learn harmony on the fly because I can’t read music very well. There are so many things about music that are more technical than I have ever realized. I have a much greater appreciation of the choir and their excellent experience!

Week after week, I have found this project of joining the choir to be challenging. But I am compelled to plug along, remembering Luke 2:52, “Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man.”

This was Luke’s last statement of Jesus as a child. We are to assume that Jesus is on his way to age 13, the age of manhood. Jesus, at 12, is heading into that awkward stage of transition, where voices crack and clothes don’t fit and faces cover in acne. Did Jesus have acne? Either way, I am amazed the Second Person of the Trinity consented to be human and enter into the awkwardness of our transitions. Jesus grew, and the Father’s favor increased upon Him.

To grow is awkward. And it’s publicly awkward. I’m in a stage of awkwardness trying to learn vocabulary I have never heard before, and trying to hit notes on mic that I can’t always hit, and trying to hold out notes and end them at the same time as the group, and trying to figure out how to get the boards with the music page numbers on the wall without dropping the numbers all over the floor like that one time.

It’s awkward.

But I right now, I’m still coming to choir along with my 12-year old daughter. Are you in a place where you are trying something new? Are you considering a change? I hope in our new adventures and transitions we are all growing in age and wisdom. And maybe we will grow in favor before the Lord and man too.

#NorineShaivitz #Spirituality #Choir